I ended by evening at DXO with shoving and having insults directed at my mother from the bouncers. Awesome way to end the night. Apparently I pissed off Celestine's friend there as well but I couldn't care less. Really darling, not the whole world is talking about you.
I have come to one of those points in life where you feel like the past couple of years you've lived have been as though you were walking through it in deep slumber. I got back home from DXO yesterday, safely thanks to Spencer, Wai Lun and crew. Still pissed off, I grabbed the Black Label and drank till I passed out.
I woke up this morning at the lowest of my lows, at the pits of my self-induced coma like hellish state and squealing for mercy from myself. I have decided that I will not drink anymore, I will let the hunger in me die and I will never again relish in the comforts of being alternate states. I will absorb every molecule of pain and I will do it without being wasted.
The late night slacking with Isa and Jon have proved to be therapeutic. They withstand my mad rantings about life and they make me laugh. It could not be more encouraging.
Dear friends, if we are out and you guys happen to be drinking. Let me off the bottle, I must take control of my life for once and walk with my feet carrying me and my eyes looking ahead. Please, be a friend and help me out.
Hello, my name is Joel and I am an alcoholic. I have unknowingly become addicted to alcohol and I have made mistakes that can probably never be erased. I want to change and live life without the influence of alcohol in any form. I am disgusted with myself and I want to change.
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